How much crying is normal?

Babies cry. All adults know that. When you get pregnant people tell you that you will never sleep and that babies cry, A LOT. But exactly how much is normal?

Let’s start by looking at WHY babies cry? It’s all about communication- what is baby trying to tell you? Wet diaper? Hungry? Burp? Sleepy? It’s pretty basic with newborns, they don’t have complex thoughts and aren’t trying to manipulate you. But what happens when solving the wet diaper, hunger, burps, or sleep doesn’t fix the problem? What happens when baby still cries, and cries, and cries?

What usually happens is you get a diagnosis of “colic” and get told by baby’s pediatrician to “come back in 2-3 months if things aren’t better”. Well, that’s helpful isn’t it?!?

You might reach out to other parents, read on Google or follow people on Instagram, trying to get tips on colic and reflux. You might try holding baby upright after feeds, burping religiously, baby wearing, white noise, walking baby. It might feel like each day is just held together with tips, tricks and ideas. But that each day might not go well. It’s exhausting and so frustrating.

None of these tips are going to fix what’s going on, because none of the suggestions address the ROOT cause of the problem. Frequently the babies I see that are “colicky” or fussy, are also tongue tie babies, with aerophagia- which means eating air. Each time the baby eats, sometimes with each and every suck, they get air into their belly. Sometimes it’s because their lips aren’t sealed, other times it’s because with each click at the breast or bottle, baby looses the latch, comes off and has to releatch. In this case working to address the tongue tie is what will also address the “colicky” behavior.

I see other babies that are colicky because they are in pain. A baby that can’t turn it’s head to one side, can’t comfortably nurse, or is stuck in fight or flight cries because they are overwhelmed and in pain. These babies can also be tied, but not always. For these babies bodywork helps with full range of motion, decreases tension, also aids in digestion and usually helps resolve the “colicky” behavior.

There can be other reason, but the main thing is to try and identify the root cause. Treating symptoms is never going to achieve a place of health, it’s only trying to avoid a place of sickness, and those are not the same thing. Finding root cause is not only more effective but also more efficient with your resources of time and money.

Next time you hear someone say “babies just cry, colic is normal, or just wait it out, eventually it’ll get better”, RUN! Because you know more than them, you know waiting and ignoring the signs of an issue won’t solve the problem, it usually just adds more.