Sleep

Sleep is one of the most talked about topics of parenthood. From a fussy newborn to a headstrong toddler to troublesome teenagers, being a parent means not enough sleep. It’s something we sacrifice for these amazing little humans. But how can you get the most sleep possible?

Well, let’s start with something I do NOT recommend for sleep- the Snoo. Parents rave about it, so why would I say don’t get it? Well, for starters, it is a $2000 bassinet that you can only use a max of 4-6 months. That is a LOT of money when you have lower income and more expenses with a baby. The Snoo has many other issues too. It is designed to straitjacket the baby, arms at their sides, unable to move their body, and rocks and shushes them. This means the baby isn’t able to move, turn, and wiggle in their sleep. While that seems like it would keep the baby asleep longer (and sometimes it does), that isn’t good for brain development. Babies' brains develop through movement, so stopping that movement for 12 hours a day is a huge negative. Plus, then this baby is dependent not just on being very tightly held, but on movement and white noise to sleep. The Snoo makes body tension and head preference worse, not allowing freedom of movement. And it’s very hard to wean off the Snoo.

So how can you get a good nights sleep? This might surprise you, but many studies show that exclusive breastfeeding parents get MORE sleep than formula or combo feeding parents! Shocking right? Think about it like this. Breastfeeding is hard initially. You are learning how to be a parent, how to feed your baby, recovering from pregnancy and birth, are in pain and sleep deprived. Over time this gets easier and easier. Your body heals, the baby latches on their own and you find you can feed laying down in bed, snuggling your precious baby. Well formula feeding is easier initially. But it always stays the same amount of work. You always need to get up and fix a bottle. You always need to wash bottles, and prepare formula. So while breastfeeding may be hard initially within a few weeks to months it’s much easier. And bottle feeding is always work. The parents who got the worst sleep in the study were the combo feeding parents. They couldn’t just sleep and have a partner formula bottle feed baby. They have to wake to pump, store the milk and fix and feed bottles. So yes breastfeeding is one of the ways to get more sleep.

Co-sleeping parents also get more sleep. Co-sleeping or bed-sharing is the biological norm and has been what humans, and most mammals, have done since the beginning of time. When humans sleep together they not only have a warmer environment but also a safer one. Not just for danger from outside the bed (especially in early human days) but also within. If baby gets sick overnight and vomits, you are there to help. If baby is hungry and starts to fuss, you are there to feed, before it turns into a full meltdown.

If you are worried about co-sleeping I suggest getting more information. I recommend this book, Safe Infant Sleep: Expert Answers to Your Co-Sleeping Questions by Dr James McKenna. He is a PhD sleep researcher and has many studies referenced in his book. I also recommend talking to your Pediatrician or Family doctor about how to co-sleep safely (if they shut you down and don’t listen, then it’s time for a new doc). There is a list to help keep your family safe, and the main points are:

1. No smoking, no drugs, no cannabis (for you or partner). Even third hand smoke or cannabis increases risk, so keep everyone safe and sober

2. Baby at your breast- breastfeeding reduces risks. That doesn’t mean baby can’t have some bottles, but they should also be breastfeeding too, especially at night.

3. Dress baby lightly, no blankets over baby. The easiest way to do this is to have 2 blankets on the bed, one for each adult, and that way the blanket doesn’t get pulled up over baby. Don’t swaddle or cover baby. Baby nightgowns or sleep sacks are a great option. Make sure baby’s arms are out.

4. Not too soft a bed- the bed should be moderate or firm, baby shouldn’t sink into it. If you have a very old mattress where baby sinks in, this isn’t a safe option

5. Watch the cords and gaps- keep phones and charging cords off the bed, make sure you don’t have baby against the wall where there is a gap between bed and wall

6. Just baby and parents in the bed- that means no older siblings, no pets either. If your older kid needs some snuggles, have co-parent sleep in their room with them and you sleep with baby.

   Many families are even doing a family bed on the floor (though in damp environments like WA I recommend both a mattress cover and slightly elevated platform to prevent mold, along with a dehumidifier). When the bed is low you don’t have to worry about baby rolling off a high surface and that is a relief.

Much of the world co-sleeps. In Sweden 72% of parents report co-sleeping (Welles‐Nystrom, 2005), in Egypt it’s 69% (Brown & Worthman, 2007), in Japan 72% co-slept and only 8% slept in a different room than their newborn (Park et al., 2014). Japan also has one of the lowest infant mortality rates, and SIDS rates in the world. Co-sleeping and bed-sharing are biologically and culturally normal, practiced around the globe and shown to be safe.

Parenting a newborn is tough and if you aren’t getting sleep it’s even harder. Look at these references, talk with your partner and find a safe solution for your family. If you have thoughts or questions, comment below or reach out directly.